


She Used to Be Mine

by just_another_classic



Category: Captain America (Comics)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_classic/pseuds/just_another_classic
Summary: Sharon doesn't lose the baby. (Captain America, Vol. 5)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You know what? When I first read The Death of Captain America arc ~13 years ago, I thought the miscarriage subplot was unnecessary trauma for an already traumatized character. When I reread it a few months ago, I still thought the miscarriage subplot was unnecessary trauma for an already traumatized character.
> 
> That's how this story came to be, because I asked myself what could happen if Sharon didn't lose the baby. And out came this one. Apologies for any timeline slips when it comes to the greater Marvel universe from this time period. I didn't have the time to read everything.

She awakens to a sterile, white room, not unlike where she was being held by the Red Skull. But her wrists are free and Sharon knows this place, has been here before with Steve when he suffered various injuries. She’s in one of Stark’s labs-turned-infirmaries. Although her current relationship with Tony is strained, a certain sense of calm overwhelms her.

She’s safe.  _ But for how long, _ she wonders. By now, they will know she’s gone. She might have wrecked the lab ( _ Did I? _ ) and whatever experiment they had been attempting, but she hadn’t gotten everyone. They’ll come looking for her. 

_ If you’re actually gone, _ a traitorous thought whispers in her ear,  _ For all you know this can be another trick. _ It’s not as if they haven’t tricked her before.

The monitors beep as her heart rate speeds at the realization that she might not have gotten away.

How did she get here?

Her mind is a jumbled mess, memories real and not real at war with one another. She hadn’t initially remembered that she’d been the one to kill Steve. Implanting a false memory of escaping wouldn’t be far off, and torturing is on brand for Lukin. Nausea unrelated to the baby growing inside of her bubbles. She will not let them win. 

“You’re awake.” 

Sharon jerks her head to the doorway to see Sam standing at the threshold to the room. He’s in uniform, but his goggles have been removed. Relief is etched all over his face.

“Sam, please tell me I’m not hallucinating,” she pleads, both hating the possibility and how her request makes her sound weak. 

But Sam just gives her an understanding smile and crosses the room in three quick strides in order to squeeze her hand. “I’m real. See? No hallucinating there. Though I’m glad to know I’m someone worth hallucinating to you.”

She asks him who he thinks she’d hallucinate, even though they both know the answer.  _ Steve. _

“I dunno, probably dancing burgers or something,” he answers instead, and her heart cracks. He’s always been so kind to her. Too kind, considering everything she’s done.

“I really could go for one right about now.” She doesn’t remember the last time she’d eaten. In captivity, she had been fed, though the focus had been on nutrients and not flavor. 

“We can make sure you get you as many as you want from wherever you like,” he assures her. He squeezes her hand again, tighter this time as if to prove a point, and his kindness overwhelms her. Tears spring to her eyes, and not because of the hormones. Would he treat her so kindly when he learns what she’d done? 

She pulls her hand away and wipes at her eyes. “Sam, there’s something you need to know.” 

“Is this where you tell me about the baby? Unfortunately, the cat’s out of the bag,” Sam tells her. His tone is teasing, but he sounds happy. “Stark had his doctor run some tests on you when we brought you in. And, well, that’s something that popped up. Just so you know, I’ve already claimed honorary uncle status.”

In some ways, she is touched by her friend’s tenderness. But for the most part, it makes her cry more. His expression turns to one she’s become so familiar with: pity. Pity for the sad woman whose lover was murdered. But now she’s also the sad, pregnant woman whose lover was murdered. She doesn’t deserve pity. The baby growing inside her does, the baby with no father and a killer for a mother, and God, her kid is fucked. 

“No, not about The baby. It’s about Steve.” She squeezes her eyes shut. She can’t look at him when she confesses her biggest sin. “I...I killed him.”

“Yeah, I know about that too. And just so you know, I’m still not going anywhere.”

And, God, does she want to believe him.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


The rest of her time spent awake is meeting with a flurry of doctors and psychologists. It’s a bit of a nightmare, but she complies because she wants to leave this hospital, eat something more than crappy hospital food, and wear normal clothes. She almost screams when the last doctor comes in, but the woman offers her an ultrasound so Sharon bites back on any protest.

“Have you had one of these yet?”

“No.” She spent so long refusing to believe she was actually pregnant, and later captured by Steve’s enemies, that she hasn’t had the chance to do any of the normal things a pregnant woman is supposed to do. 

If the doctor judges her in any way, it doesn’t show. Instead she smiles brightly and says, “Well, are you ready to see your baby?”

The gel is cold, but all discomfort melts away when she hears the rapid heartbeat of her baby and sees its blurry shape on the screen. She wishes desperately Steve could be here to see this. 

He would hold her hand, whisper endearments into her ear, and almost certainly have cried.    
  
Instead she’s alone, and she only has her weakness to blame. 

  
  


.

  
  
  


Sam takes her home. When they return to her apartment, she is shocked to see Natasha Romanoff waiting outside, two greasy bags of burgers in hand. She and Natasha were never what one would call the closest of friends, but they have been friendly enough in the past. Enough to be a first-name basis, but Sharon can’t say she had expected her to be a part of some welcoming committee. 

“I have a few things I need to wrap up, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Sam asks, before giving her a final hug and nodding to Natasha. This is when Sharon realizes that they had planned this, and neither have any intention of leaving her alone for long periods of time. 

“Am I being babysat out of the goodness of you own heart or because you all want to make sure I don’t go crazy and shoot any national heroes again?”  _ Or try to off myself.  _

“A little bit of Column A, a little bit of Column B,” Natasha replies as she waltzes into Sharon’s apartment. 

It smells clean and fresh. The fact that someone had gone through and clean chafes at her, and Sharon makes a mental note to check for bugs at a later date. She makes her way to the kitchen to grab a few plates for the dinner. When she returns, Natasha offers her the bag of burger and fries. Her stomach rumbles. 

“So does all of SHIELD know what I’ve done?”

“No, actually. We’ve kept most of your involvement under lock and key,” Natasha answers, appearing to tell the truth. She plates her own meal before adding, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant. Tony was the one who insisted the doctors check to make sure everything was fine there. Speaking of, should I offer congratulations or are you exercising your legal right to choose? Either way, I have your back.”

And that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Under most situations, Sharon would have heavily leaned toward terminating the pregnancy. Her lifestyle hadn’t one with much flexibility for raising a child. That had been one of the biggest arguments between she and Steve. But now that she is pregnant and he’s gone…

“I’m keeping it.” 

The universe is fucking cruel in its irony. 

  
  


.

  
  


Time passes. Natasha and Sam linger around, but it becomes clear they’re visiting more as friends than as minders. If anyone at SHIELD has noticed that she’s flushed the three bugs she found down the toilet, no one says anything. Natasha even smuggles a gun back into her place. Perhaps Sam had been right that she has more friends than she thought. 

She spends most of her days indoors, except for the few times Natasha manages to coax her into a run. At nights, Sharon spends a lot of time on the roof of her building. She probably shouldn’t. It makes her an easy target. A well-placed sniper could just pull the trigger and _ bam.  _ She’d be gone.

One of those nights, she is startled by a sudden noise. She sees the gleam of light reflecting off a shield, and for an absurd moment she believes Steve had somehow come back to her. Reality strikes when Bucky Barnes walks into view.

“Manhattan is a really shitty place to go stargazing, but I guess you already know that.” The absurdity of his greeting causes her to laugh. Even under the mask, Bucky looks a little too pleased with himself, and Sharon realizes that her laughing might have been the point. He walks to stand beside her. “Peggy used to stargaze too. She said it grounded her.”

“That’s what she would tell me too.” She wonders if he knows about Aunt Peggy now, how she’s in a home in Virginia and thinks it’s the forties more often than the current year. She doesn’t even know Bucky Barnes survived. At the time of their last visit, neither she nor Steve had been confident she could handle the information. “But I don’t think you’re here to talk about Aunt Peggy.”

“I realized I never really apologized for kidnapping you.”

“Yeah, well, I killed Steve Rogers. I think I win the apology olympics.”

She waits for him to tell her that she has been brainwashed. He doesn’t. Instead, he replies, “Pretty sure at the end of the day, I still have a higher kill count than you.”

She casts him a sideways glance, but says nothing more. They stay silent, listening to the cars down below and staring up at the sky. 

“You think we’ll ever stop hating ourselves for what we did?” Bucky asks finally.

“Probably not.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Perhaps she has more in common with Bucky Barnes than she ever thought before. This should probably worry her, but instead it makes her feel less alone.

  
  


.

  
  


Slowly, baby paraphernalia begins to appear in her house. Stacks of books about pregnancy brought over by Natasha. The tiniest of socks from Sam. Even Bucky gets in on it, bringing a stuffed bunny that reminds him of one his sister loved so many years ago. 

Sharon buys nothing. 

Guilt, she knows, is the reason, because she should be doing this with Steve. 

But guilt doesn’t stop her one day from standing outside of a boutique, gaze roving over the pink frills and stuffed animals in the window. She has a new ultrasound photo tucked into her jacket pocket, and perhaps that is what drives her inside. She is instantly overwhelmed by the pastel clothing in impossibly small sizes. 

She gravitates toward a display that features clothing with various heroic logos. The Avengers, Fantastic Four, Steve’s shield. Sharon lifts the newborn onesie with the familiar red, white, and blue pattern. She considers putting it back and running away. Instead, she carries it with her to the register.

“You’d be surprised how many of these we’re still selling, considering everything,” the cashier says as she folds the small garment and tucks it into a bag. “Not that I mind, he was always my favorite.”

“Mine too.”

She leaves before the other woman can see her cry.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Sharon is surprised when she gets a visitor that isn’t Sam, Natasha, or Bucky. She’s reading  _ What to Expect When You’re Expecting _ (how cliche), when there is a knock on the door. She approaches with caution, and is dumbfounded when she sees Susan Storm Richards on the other side.

Sharon’s never really believed in the concept of ‘having it all’, but if there’s anyone that would make her a believer, it would be her. Heroine, philanthropist, wife, and mother, the Invisible Woman fulfills all of those with a grace that belies the fact that she is the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four. Perhaps even one of the most powerful and potentially deadly super-humans Sharon knows of. God forbid she ever decides to go truly bad, because the world would be fucked. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi. Sorry for showing up unexpectedly. I realized I had no idea how to contact you, and I thought showing up the old fashioned way would be the best bet.” She reaches in the bag that’s slung over her shoulder and pulls out a tin. “I brought cookies. Ben made them, so they’re edible.”

_ How fucking domestic.  _

“Um. Thanks.” Sharon takes the cookie tin that was thrust in her hands, and stands to the side to allow the other woman inside. She shakes her head as if to physically wear off her shock, before straightening. 

“Just so you know, I’m no longer with SHIELD, so if you’re looking for that kind of help, I’m not the woman you want.”

There’s a sting that accompanies her statement. She has always prided herself in her ability as a secret agent. But she can’t ever imagine going back. Stark might be attempting to make amends, but she knows she can’t ever work for him again. 

“I’m not here because I need a spy. Besides, if we’re talking about espionage, I wouldn’t be the one asking.” Fair, though Sharon might argue that there’s more to spywork than turning invisible. 

“Then why are you here?” Sharon balance the cookie tin on a nearby shelf before crossing her arms and leaning back against the door. Off the top of her head, Sharon can only recall maybe ten conversations she’s had with the Invisible Woman, if that many. 

“I thought you could use a friend,” Susan replies. Her expression softens when she adds, “I saw you at the shop the other day when I was out getting some new dresses for Val.”

Sharon is about to ask what shop and argue that she already had friends when she pieces together just what Susan Richards is saying and why she is here. 

“Oh.” Sharon considers protesting or making up a lie that she had been looking to buy something for a non-existent niece. Instead, she finds herself asking, “Did anyone else recognize me?”

Susan shakes her head. “I don’t think so, and if it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell anyone why I was coming over here. Not even Reed.”

That only makes Sharon feel marginally better. “I’d like to keep it on the need to know as long as possible.”

“That’s understandable,” Susan says, and God, if Sharon doesn’t want to shirk away from the sympathy in her gaze.“Pardon me for the intrusion, but does anyone else know?”

“My people do.”  _ And Tony Stark,  _ Sharon thinks. He has kept his distance since she returned, and Sharon doesn’t mind that all. 

“Friends are good,” she replies. Thankfully, Susan doesn’t press and ask about Steve. She’s far more tactful than that. “However, I’m pretty sure your friends, no matter how wonderful they are, don’t know what it’s like to be on Team Superhero Mom. It’s a fairly small group of people with a pretty large number of problems.”  
  
“Thanks for the invite, but I’m good.” Sharon isn’t particularly fond about letting any additional people into her circle. As far as she’s concerned, what she has is enough, and already more than she deserves. 

Susan hesitates, before standing. 

“I’m glad. I should get going then. I hope you enjoy the cookies. They’re double chocolate chip,” Susan replies gracefully.  _ Why is she so damn nice? _ Sharon slides out of the way as Susan walks to the door. Just as her hand reaches for the knob, she turns back to look at Sharon. “I know you know how to find me, but I also left my number on a card that I left in the tin. It’s okay to want to be alone for awhile, but if you ever want to talk to someone who gets it  — and I mean really gets it  — I’m here. I know what’s it’s like laying awake wondering if someone you pissed off might come looking for them, or being terrified if whatever altered your DNA  —  or Steve’s, in this case  — might affect the baby inside of you. And, when the time comes, I know some really awesome babysitters. So don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Okay.”

And then she’s gone. 

  
  


.

  
  


Sharon fully intends on ignoring Susan’s request to reach out. She eats the cookies — _they’re, ugh, fantastic __—_ and keeps the tiny card with her number written in beautiful script, but she has no plans of calling. But then she makes the mistake of mentioning the visit to Sam and Natasha, who both act like it’s the greatest idea. Sam’s argument being that “more friends can’t be a bad thing”, with Natasha adding, “You need someone who understands and is interested in weird baby things. I’m not.” 

_ Traitors.  _

This is why Sharon finds herself in the Baxter Building, empty cookie tin in hand. Her late grandmother would have a conniption if she knew that Sharon hadn’t filled it with treats in return, but Sharon’s a hopeless baker. Returning it empty is the gift. 

She is greeted by Susan, who has Valeria on her hip. The toddler assesses Sharon, her gaze far too aware for any normal child, before shyly tucking her face into the crook of her mother’s neck. 

“She’s shy around new people,” Susan explains before leading Sharon further into the home. Franklin Richards is lounging on the couch, playing some kind of handheld video game. He gives a wave before returning his attention to the game. “Franklin, finish that up please.”

“But Mom!”

“No buts about it, Mister. Get your shoes on, then go get your Dad.” Susan’s voice takes on a tone that Sharon thinks is her ‘Mom Voice’.  _ Will I get that?  _ She’s impressed by the effectiveness. Franklin sighs deeply, and bounds in the direction of what Sharon assumes is his lab. Susan turns her attention back to Sharon. “Reed’s taking them to the park for the afternoon. Johnny is out doing whatever with his cars, and Ben is spending some time with Alicia. I thought you’d like some down time without distractions.”

“That’s  —  thank you.” She’s surprised just how far Susan had taken the fact that she doesn’t want anyone to know about her situation to such an extreme. It’s far too kind.

Soon enough, Franklin returns full of boundless energy, his father behind him. Sharon hasn’t quite forgiven Reed Richards for his role in the mess with the SHRA, but there’s no denying that he loves his children, given the overly fond expression as he follows his son. 

Sharon watches the way the two move around one another seamlessly, grabbing bags and trading Valeria into the other’s arms. She wonders if situations had been different, if this could have been her and Steve someday. The thought hurts.

“Bye, darling. I love you.” Reed’s body is halfway out the door, next extending to plant a kiss on his wife. His gaze falls to Sharon. “Have fun.”

There’s something in Reed’s expression that concerns, like he sees through her own shields. It is then when Sharon realizes that he knows. Not necessarily about the pregnancy, but what she’s done.

Once he’s gone, Sharon asks Susan, “When did you find out?”

“Find out about what?” 

“What I did to Steve.”

Susan’s face falls, and the sympathy returns. She wonders how Richards found out.  _ Stark, probably. _ “When I told him you were coming over.”

“And you still want me here?” Bucky, Sam, and Natasha might not have abandoned her, but Sharon is been fully prepared for others to turn their backs on her. 

Susan simply shrugs.    
  
“If we disowned every friend for actions done while under mind control, we’d have no friends left. Besides, I had that whole Malice affair, so I’d really be a hypocrite.”

“Everyone says that.”

“Maybe everyone is right.”

Oh, but when will Sharon believe it?

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Spending time with Susan Richards isn’t as awful as Sharon had feared. In fact, it’s almost fun. They don’t spend as much time talking about babies and motherhood as Natasha had advised, but instead Susan recounts a few SHIELD missions she had participated in. They trade successes and failures, and inside jokes about agents they had both encountered.

“What do you plan to do now that you’re out?” Susan asks after Sharon finishes her story about a mission to involving an opera gown, a greyhound, and six bottles of wine. “I seem to recall you had quite the reputation as a freelancer.”

“I did, and maybe I would go back to that, but it’s not like I can just leave a baby behind. Not when it’s already down one parent.” She recalls a past argument with Steve, the one where she had sarcastically thrown out the idea of Nick babysitting. She sighs and rakes her fingers through her hair. “I’ll figure something out. I have to. Until then, I have family money.”

She doesn’t like relying on that bit, but she’d be an idiot to not use the resources available to her. 

“Staying at home is a perfectly acceptable option, but something tells me you wouldn’t be happy with that,” Susan replies. She’s right. Sharon wouldn’t be happy with that. Not long-term. She’s barely happy with it now. Sort of. “And don’t get me wrong. Being a mother might be one of the most fulfilling things I’ll ever do, but it’s also good to have things for myself that remind me I’m Susan Storm, and not just a mom or wife or member of the Fantastic Four. It’s why I did a few stints with SHIELD when I was able.”

“Is that why you joined up with Steve during his civil war?” It’s something she’s been wondering for a long while now, why Susan Richards walked away from the Baxter Building and her family to fight in Steve’s battle. In many ways, it is the opposite of what Sharon had done. Sharon had chosen love, Susan duty. 

The other woman is quiet for a few moments before answering. “In some ways, yes. I needed to be able to live with my decisions, and I couldn’t do that while standing with Reed. But I also wanted to be an example to my children, to show them that they should still fight for what’s right, even if the people you love disagree.”

“ When the world tells you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree, and tell the whole world  — ‘No, you move’,” Sharon says softly, her chest clenching when paraphrases Steve. She misses him so much. More than she ever thought possible. 

“He said some wise things, than man of yours. Mine, on the other hand, helped clone Thor.” 

Sharon detects the undercurrent of bitterness in Susan’s voice, and remembers that she’s not the only one working through problems. Sharon isn’t close enough to Susan to probe further, and judging by her body language, Susan doesn’t want her to. 

“That mess did a number on us all.”

Susan raises her mug of tea. “And here’s to us for making a better tomorrow.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Sharon leaves the Baxter Building with a bag full of Susan’s old maternity clothes  —  “To put off you having to buy anything for a bit,” Susan had said  — and a promise to potentially spend more time together at a later date.

Sam acts smug when she tells him that she didn’t actually have a bad time when they meet up for dinner that night at a diner in Brooklyn that Steve favored. 

“Get that expression off your face, or else I’ll revoke baby privileges,” Sharon warns. She’s not above using her baby as a bargaining chip. Especially since she knows it’ll be effective. 

“That’s playing dirty.” His eyes narrow. He then yelps when catches her liberating a fry from her plate. “And stop stealing my fries. You have your own.”

“I’m eating for two.” Which also is her reasoning for ordering a milkshake with her dinner. She needs the extra calories. Or something. She’ll go with that. 

Sam studies her carefully, but he doesn’t appear to be actually annoyed.

“What? Is there ketchup on my face?”

He shakes his head. “No. You look happy.”

And maybe, for once, she is.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


There’s not a day that goes by that Sharon doesn’t miss Steve. Her longing for her has become a near constant ache in her chest, but it’s familiar. That’s what makes it easier to manage. She still cries most days, but they’re less of the body-quaking sobs from the days of the immediate aftermath. 

Everywhere she goes, she is reminded of him. She doesn’t think that will change. She considers going to a support group. They have those for people who have lost a super-powered love one. She talks herself out of it, though. She knows she’ll be unable to remain completely honest. She won’t tell them what she did to Steve and how that amplifies her grief. Surprisingly, he friends agree. Besides, it’s not as if they hadn’t also lost someone they love. They grieve together.

The baby makes it easier to force herself out of bed. The baby also gives them something to hope for. ‘A better tomorrow,’ as Susan had said. Maybe she’s right. Sharon worries, however, that the weight of that hope will be too heavy of a burden to care. Her child will already have an impossible legacy. She already sees how Bucky struggles with the mantle of Captain America. Her child will have that struggle tenfold.

“That’s why he or she will have us,” Bucky reminds her when she expresses those fears. “You’ve been through it with Peggy and I have it with Steve. But this time, they’ll have someone who understands.”

“Yeah.”

“Or they’ll rebel and refuse to eat cheeseburgers. Who the fuck knows?”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Sharon learns she’s having a girl, to which Natasha whoops, “Good, the world needs more strong women.”

She can’t help but agree. She thinks Steve would agree too. He would often regale her with stories of his mother, the woman who both raised and inspired him to be the man he became. She can easily picture him toting around a baby in a frilly dress, playing tea party with a precocious toddler, and advising a young girl on the proper way to throw a shield. 

Susan offers Sharon more of Valeria’s hand-me-downs, with the sage advice of, “They grow like weeds. The less you have to constantly go out and buy, the better.”

In part for her own sanity, and because she wants to model the type of strongness she believes in, Sharon begins to provide operational support for Sam, Bucky, and Natasha in their missions to take down A.I.M. cells. She misses being in the field, but working behind the computer isn’t terrible. At the very least, she feels useful. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” Natasha tells her after one particularly successful mission. “I was growing sick of only having the boys in my ears.”

“Well, it’s like you said,” Sharon concedes, “the world needs more strong women.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Sharon has the opportunity to watch Natasha and Bucky fall back in love. Or start over from where she began. Both of them are limited with the details they share, except for the fact that long ago they were lovers and now they are again. She wonders if this is how she and Steve looked from the outside when they’d finally decided to stop dancing around one another. 

“I just want you to know that we’re not trying to rub our relationship in your face,” Natasha tells her gently during one of their Ladies Nights. 

“You know I don’t see it that way. I’m happy you’re happy,” Sharon answers, which is the truth. “You all are cute.”

She won’t deny that she’s jealous. There’s no use in lying there. Between watching Bucky and Natasha flirt, and Reed dote on Susan, Sharon is constantly reminded of what she and Steve had or could have become. She finds herself regretting all the time they wasted going back and forth, and all the ways she would run away from him. 

The good thing about being pregnant is that fewer people mention her moving on or trying to date again. She gets hit on less. She can’t even fathom the idea now anyway. It still feels like a betrayal. Is this how Steve had felt when he assumed she had died years ago? He hadn’t waited around and mourned forever.  _ “There wasn’t a week that went by that I didn’t think of you. Even after years went by. I always came back to you,” _ he had told her. She knows that he would want her to move on someday, but that someday isn’t today. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Her belly grows, and it becomes impossible to hide her little secret. 

Susan informs her that the rest of the Four have long since figured it out, even Johnny. It makes a lot of sense, judging by the behavior most recent behavior the last time she had visited the Baxter Building. Ben Grimm had been exceedingly cautious around her, almost too cautious. Reed had mentioned offhand that he was “trying to find a way to provide ridiculously blonde children were simply the best” and pointing to his children as evidence before coloring and realizing he sounded like an agent of Hydra. 

Her baby would be ridiculously blonde. 

Sharon also feels the brunt of the new level of sympathy. Her friends have long since stopped giving her sympathetic looks, which she appreciates, but baby is news to everyone else who knows her. Luke Cage, at the very least, offers to set up playdates with Dani in the future. 

“I can throw the shield at them,” Bucky offers. She’s pretty sure if she asked, he would actually do it too. 

“You have your own Captain America-related PR to manage. You can’t be the guy who throws his shield at the good guys.”

“That rep grows more tempting every day.”

“Don’t I know it.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


“People are asking if they can get you anything,” Natasha informs her. “I already told them you nixed the idea of a shower.”

“People I know?”

Natasha rolls her eyes in a spectacular fashion. Sharon is honestly impressed. “Of course people you know. They want to help out.”

“So we’re back to sympathy presents again.”

“For what it’s worth, if circumstances were different, people would still want to buy your kid a boatload of gifts. Almost everyone loved Steve, and I think they want to honor him through your child. Let them.”   


She does allow her friends to assist her with the nursery. She cries when Sam hangs art on the walls  — landscape sketches done by Steve that Sam had framed. 

God, she wishes he were here to experience this.

  
  
  


**.**

  
  
  


Labor is a shockingly uneventful affair. She keeps expecting some super villain to bust through the doors, but nothing happens. She goes through the pains of labor, and is rewarded by a nurse handing her a squawking bundle. 

Her daughter weighs 7 pounds on the dot. She’s beautiful. 

  
_ Steve, look what we made _ . 

Eleanor Sarah Carter. 

  
  


.

  
  
  


**Eleanor**

_ Origin: _ Greek

_ Meaning: _ bright, shining one

_ Related information: _ Eleanor is an English version of the Provençal name Alienor. In and out of fashion since the early 1900s, it has made a comeback in recent years. 

_ Notable Eleanors: _ Eleanor Roosevelt; "Eleanor Rigby" 

Steve was fond of both. 

  
  


.

  
  


She gets a string of visitors. Natasha and Sam take turns acting as bouncers. As much as she normally dislikes others fussing over her, stuck to the bed as she is, Sharon appreciates their mother hen routine.

The Richards visit, and Susan coos over the new baby. Dum Dum comes bearing an overly large teddy bear. Maria Hill sends flowers. She receives a card that reads “Congratulations, kid”, written in Nick Fury’s familiar scrawl. Even Tony Stark comes by. 

“She won’t need to worry about anything,” he tells her. Normally, Sharon would scoff at taking his money, but she knows this goes beyond charity. This is for Steve. “There’s a trust for her, when she gets old enough.”

Later, when it’s just then, Bucky asks the million dollar question.

“Why Carter?”

“She already doesn’t have a dad. I didn’t want to saddle her with the weight of the Rogers name, you know?”

“Don’t forget I know you and knew Peg in her heydey. Carter is a formidable name too.”

And Sharon isn’t sure she can argue with that. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


She wakes in the middle of the night, startling from another nightmare featuring Steve. She nearly jumps out of the hospital bed when she notices Bucky posted up in the corner, his gun visible. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

He shrugs in the dark. “I’m taking watch.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but Steve would definitely haunt me in my sleep if I didn’t at least attempt to look after his girls.”

And, well, Sharon can’t argue with that either. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Motherhood is exhausting. It is a string of feedings, spit-up, and dirty diapers. Nights spent with her daughter screaming for reasons Sharon cannot figure out why. Her friends help out the best they are able. Reed Richards brings over a rocking baby pod that he swears helped both Franklin and Valeria sleep. Sam actually offers to stay up one night to let Sharon sleep. She’s too exhausted to fight him.

There are good things too. She cannot believe the breadth of love she has for her daughter. She becomes obsessed with her toes and feet. Sharon thinks she looks absolutely perfect, even if Natasha thinks Eleanor resembles Gollum. Both Bucky and Sharon laugh uproariously when Eleanor apparently pays ‘Aunty Tasha’ back by projectile vomiting in her hair. 

Sharon’s baby has sass, and she loves it.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


The Skrulls attack. New York City is destroyed. Dani Cage goes missing. And, to make matters worse, Norman Osborn is given control of SHIELD.

Sharon takes this as an excuse to run away to Virginia.   
  
“Maybe being out of the city will be good for her,” Sharon argues when Sam expresses doubt. She hands him a suitcase. “Now be a good uncle, and help me pack.”

Sam does more than help her pack. He helps her haul all of her stuff down to Virginia, as well. Bucky does as well, letting out a low whistle when he sees the Carter estate. 

“I can’t believe you left this behind in the first place.”

“I preferred the noise of the city,” she answers. She cuddles her daughter closer, and listens to her coo. “But I think I could do for some quiet right about now.”

_ I’m not running away,  _ she thinks. Maybe if she says it enough, she will begin to believe it. 

  
  
  


.

  
  


It’s not one of Aunt Peggy’s good days, but Sharon still attempts to introduce her aunt to Eleanor.

“Lovely name. Did you know I’ve met Eleanor Roosevelt?” 

“Why don’t you tell me?” Sharon asks, despite knowing the story. She hugs Ellie closer as Peggy regales her with the tale of meeting the then-First Lady of the United States.

“Did you know I’ve met Captain America too?” Peggy asks once she finishes her Eleanor Roosevelt story. “We used to be in love.”

“That’s nice,” Sharon replies with a shaky smile, barely holding back tears as Peggy launches into a story that Sharon has heard dozens of times before. 

It breaks her heart that Eleanor will never get to know her aunt. Peggy Carter is the inspiration for everything Sharon has become. Now, she’ll be another person who will live on through stories. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Sharon never stops dreaming of Steve. 

Most nights, it’s a nightmarish replay of the day she pulled the trigger. Some nights, however, it’s like he’s here. He’ll have Eleanor in his arms and Sharon will be by his side. In those dreams, they’re a family. They’re happy.

Then Eleanor will cry, and pull her back to reality. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


The one year anniversary of Steve’s death has her returning to New York. The Richards offer to babysit, and Sharon nearly turns them down. But the anniversary has been screwing with her head, and she thinks it might be best for her to take some time to breathe on her own. So she leaves Eleanor in the care of half of the Fantastic Four, and hopes that the Baxter Building doesn’t blow up again.

It doesn’t.

But Sharon’s world does, because it is while she is alone that she remembers she didn’t shoot Steve with a proper gun, and that she handed that gun to someone else. 

Instead of using her free babysitting period to ‘me time’, Sharon hunts down that someone else and that gun. And when she finds that gun? Well…

“I think we found a way to save Steve,” she says to a very confused Sam at the memorial ceremony. 

For a brief moment, she has hope. And then, of course, it all goes to shit.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  
This is how it goes down: Bucky is captured and the Osborn announces to the world that she is Steve’s murderer. If she doesn’t turn herself in, Bucky will die.    
  
Everyone tells her it’s a trap, and Sharon knows this. But she also knows that a trap wouldn’t be set unless they needed her. For what? She isn’t sure, but her gut tells her that it has to do with Steve.    
  
This is why she ends up leaving Eleanor at the Baxter Building, and praying that soon her daughter will have two parents instead of none. 

  
  
  
.   
  
  
  
She’s right.    
  
She’s right. She’s right. She’s right.   
  
Steve Rogers is coming home.    
  
  
  
.   
  
  
  
Once it’s over, Steve sweeps her into his arms. She is unashamed to cry in front of the others, not after the year she’s had. They clear out of Washington, the others informing Steve about Osborn and the mess that occurred while he was gone. She doesn’t leave his side, and he has no interest in it either. The entire time he is touching her. His arm around his waist or their fingers threaded together. Steve has rarely shied away from public displays of affection, but this goes beyond even his normal. The difference between this time and others is that no one comments. 

When they’re just outside of New York airspace, Sharon is informed that Eleanor has been transported to the building where Bucky now lives and where Steve once did. Sharon sighs in relief, but is reminded of one more difficult conversation she’ll need to have when Steve’s brows knit in confusion.

“Who’s Eleanor?”   
  
He can’t miss the way everyone in the jet tenses, nor expressions they exchanges when they realize he doesn’t know. Sharon squeezes his hand. “When we land, okay?”

Steve’s expression remains dubious, but he presses another kiss to her temple. Sharon is grateful when Sam segues the conversation to Skrulls and she bites back a smile when Steve’s eyes go wide.

  
  


.

  
  


For what it’s worth, Sharon isn’t actually worried about how Steve will react to the news that he’s a father. She has no doubt that he will be overjoyed. 

“He’s going to cry, you know that?” Sam whispers when they disembark. And yes, she knows that. And she also knows he’s going to beat himself to hell for missing the first few years of her life, because he’s Steve and this has been a fear of his ever since he woke up from the ice. 

Time has passed and he has missed even more monumental moments, and though it hadn’t been his fault (hers, it’s her fault), he’ll still blame himself because that’s the type of man that he is. 

Thankfully, the others understand the enormity of the moment. They give Steve hugs and pats on the back, the kind of warm welcome he deserves, but they also dissipate quickly under the promise that they will see him soon.    
  
Steve knows something is going on. He’s neither stupid nor blind, and he catches when Alicia Masters informs her that Eleanor is asleep before she leaves with Ben Grimm. 

“What’s going on?” Steve finally asks when Natasha and Bucky say that they’re hitting the showers and Sam announces he’s going out to get everyone food. 

She leans up to kiss him. She had forgotten the softness of his lips, and when she pulls away the confusion is still there, but he’s happy too. Happy and fond and full of love. 

“C’mon. There’s someone you need to meet.” 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


She supposes the shock of Eleanor’s appearance is why he doesn’t immediately register just what is happening when Sharon lifts their daughter from her crib. The baby, blessedly, stays asleep. Sharon doesn’t want to have this conversation while dealing with her squirming daughter.

“This is Eleanor.” And that’s all she has to say, really, because she watches the moment it hit, when eyes widen and the cascade of emotions flit across his face  — shock, disbelief, happiness, fear. “Steve, meet your daughter.”

After the shock fades, after they both do their fair share of crying, and after Eleanor is placed in his arms, they curl next to one another on the bed in bed, backs pressed against the headboard. He asks questions, she answers to the best of her ability. He’s particularly concerned about her health. It only makes sense. His strength hadn’t come from genetics. 

“She’s good. More than good, actually. She’s perfect.” 

One upon of time, Sharon might have rolled her eyes at such a statement. Parenting, in some ways, has turned her soft. She wonders what it will do to Steve.

“I think I saw some of this. Her. I was falling through time, and I think I bounced to the future. Or present. I don’t know. I think, no, I know I saw her. You and her. It’s...it was all I ever wanted.” He presses a kiss to the crown of Eleanor’s head. He’s quiet for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry you had to do this alone.”

“But that’s the thing, I wasn’t.” Eleanor blinks herself awake, and studies the new person holding her. Sharon waits for her to cry. She doesn’t. “She has so many honorary aunts and uncles fighting for her affection.”

“Oh?” Steve keeps his gaze entirely on Eleanor, more than a little awestruck. 

“We have some really good friends.” Outside of the room, Sharon can hear Natasha and Bucky puttering around the kitchen, talking about something with Sam who has returned from his food quest. “Speaking of, plenty of people will want to see you again. And I’m pretty sure Sam has returned with sustenance.”

Steve draws his gaze away from their daughter, to look back at her. “Is it okay with you if we stay here a bit longer? Just the three of us? I want to enjoy this moment while it lasts.”

Sharon can only nod and snuggle closer to him. She knows soon enough they will have to leave this room and rejoin the world with the rest of their friends, but for now she is content to have the love of her life here with their child in his arms.

Her family. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small code featuring Steve adjusting to life post-death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't set out to write a second chapter from Steve's POV, but my muse was in my head and I decided to write more. I hope you all enjoy.

Steve Rogers dreams of death, of war, and of falling frozen through time as his loved ones fall around him. 

He is jerked awake by a piercing cry. He blinks once, twice, three times as he comes back to his senses. He is no longer dreaming. He is not at war. He is not alone. 

“Mmmm...I’ll go,” Sharon mutters, shifting in bed as he attempts to disentangle herself from the bedsheets. He leans over to kiss her, urging her to stay and catch up on sleep.

“Besides, I owe you,” he adds, trying to give her his best smile even as his heart pounds in his chest. Sharon is tired enough not to argue, allowing him to leave the warmth of their bed. 

The hardwood is cold against his bare feet. He ought to put on socks, but the cold grounds him. He’s been back a week, and he’s had the same horrible dreams every night. They reflects his fears that his return is a temporary thing, or worse, a cruel trick and that he’s still falling for all eternity. He relies on everything he can to prove that yes, he’s back. He’s alive and present. 

He creeps into the nursery, partially illuminated by a nightlight. He crosses the overly fluffy rug to the crib. Eleanor squirms over her crib sheet, and Steve takes comfort in her weight as he lifts her into his arms. She’s probably hungry, or in need of a diaper change, but he stays for a moment and sways her side-to-side.

“Shhhh...your daddy’s here,” he coos. “I’ve got you.”

He begins to hum a lullaby his mother taught him so many years ago. 

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Not long after he awoke from the ice, Steve had been asked by one of his many therapists about his fears. He had told them that it had been going through this all over, once again waking up decades in the future, with his loved ones dead or moved on. 

Only a year has passed, but Steve still feels as if the entire world has changed. 

He watches as Sharon sits across the room, their daughter in her arms, laughing at comment made by the man who now wields his shield. This is what he wanted, a slice of the life he always dreamed of having, but never actually thought possible. Steve only wishes he could have been there to see it come to be. 

Sharon has a photo album that he’s now thumbed through more times that he can count. There are pictures of her with her belly swollen, face twisted into a laughing smile as someone offscreen stacks oreo cookies in a tower. There is a picture of her in a hospital bed, sweaty and smiling with a pink bundle in her arms as Bucky, Sam, and Natasha lean by her side. There’s Eleanor, a newborn and so impossibly small. So many photos of his daughter, all from moments he missed. Sam giving her a bath. Eleanor wearing a Fantastic Four onesie in the arms of Susan Storm. Sam has even showed him a video of her rolling over for the first time. 

He’s only been gone a year, but he’s missed so much. 

  
  
  


.   
  
  


Steve envious, he admits, of the roles Bucky and Sam have played in Eleanor’s life. They have stories and memories and inside jokes that fly over his head, and they’re far better at soothing her than he is. 

“That’s her attention cry,” Sam informs him when Steve attempts to sweep his daughter into his arms after she expresses her displeasure with the bouncy seat.

“Attention cry?”

“Yeah, she just wants someone to hold her,” his friend explains. “It’s different, you know, from her hungry cry or dirty diaper cry or her scared cry.” 

“Scared?” He’s only been in her life a few weeks, and Steve already wants to throttle anyone who might scare her. Is that normal? He’s unsure. 

“Yeah, it was honestly a little hilarious. Reed Richards was trying to do his saggy elephant routine, and she lost her shit. Apparently his kids like it, but Ellie does not. His face…”

  
  
.

  
  
  


Steve proposes to Sharon during a rare moment they have alone. 

There are no roses, no lit candles. It’s far from the overly romantic moment he had turned over in his head when feeling whimsical more than a year ago. Perhaps that is why Steve is unsurprised when she shakes her head and says no. 

Sharon cradles his cheek and runs her free hand through his hair. She kisses him tenderly before letting him down gently. “We both know you’re only doing this because your 1940s sensibilities are kicking in.”

“That’s not the  _ only _ reason.” It might certainly be a factor — perhaps the only factor in why his proposal is rushed and not as well planned as he hoped — but it’s not the only one. He’s loved her for years, even through the moments they hadn’t been together. But he knows her well enough to recognize that confessing all of that to her will do nothing to sway her opinion, so instead he nuzzles into her palm and simply says, “I love you.”

“And I love you too,” she replies, and Steve can tell she means it. “But before everything happened, we hadn’t even been together a full six months. I don’t want the reason we get married to be because I got knocked up. We need more time to figure out how we work together. When — if it happens, it’s because we’re both ready and we can’t imagine our lives any other way.”

She kisses him again for assurance, and Steve holds on to her use of ‘when’ as a promise of maybe someday making her his wife. 

.

  
  
  


They do make plans to move in together, although deciding on a location is difficult. After an alien invasion had once again ravaged New York and sent the superhero community into a tailspin, Sharon had ensconced herself and Eleanor away at her family’s estate in Northern Virginia, selling her condo in the process. Bucky has been living in Steve’s old place in Brooklyn, along with half of the Avengers in the basement. Bucky offers to give Steve back his space, “It is yours, after all.”

“Or, you could all just stay,” Sam interjects. “It’ll be like  _ Full House _ . But, instead of Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky in the attic, it can be Uncle Buck and Aunty ‘Tasha, and instead of Uncle Joey, there will be like twenty superheroes in the basement.” 

Bucky knits his brows in confusion, the reference completely lost to him. Steve barely understands it, if only because Full House had somehow been a part of his cultural enhancement after he’d thawed out — the importance of pop culture, or somesuch. It’s the kind of saccharine show that many would stereotyping him favoring, but stereotypes are rarely correct.

“So what does that make you?”

“Too black for that show.”

Steve pitches the idea to Sharon, who quickly agrees. She knows how much he’s been itching to leave the quiet atmosphere of her Northern Virginia estate, feeling more at home in bustling Brooklyn. 

“Besides,” she tells him, “I do miss our friends.”

Once it's decided, he lifts Eleanor into his arms. “We’re going home!”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Upon moving, he officially hands over the mantle of Captain America to Bucky. Visions of a future plagued with defeat still invade his dreams, and Steve prays he is making the correct decision to set it right. Besides, he has no doubt that Bucky is a good in the role. He’s seen him fight, and watched how seamlessly he moved alongside Natasha. They’re a good pair. 

Besides, he has other priorities he needs to consider now. After how much time he’s missed, Eleanor doesn’t need him galavanting everywhere. He ought to spend time with her, be a present father. He tells Sharon all of this, but it doesn’t stop her from being dubious when it comes to his decision. 

“Are you sure you’re happy with that?” she asks him as they sort through moving boxes. She picks up a framed photo of him and the former president and places in on the bookshelf. His smile is gleaming, but fake. Steve had perfected that sort of smile decades ago. 

“Why wouldn’t I be happy? It was my decision.” He heaves over another box of books, and slices open the tape. Considering, he looks up at her and asks, “Are you unhappy I’m not Captain America anymore?”

“Baby, you could put on a monkey suit and call yourself the Great and Glorious Fizbo, and I wouldn’t care as long as you’re happy,” Sharon replies with a snort. Her statement gives him quite the mental image, and Steve joins in on her laughter. “I’ve told you this before, I don’t care what you call yourself. I fell for Steve Rogers, not the shield. I just want you to be sure you’re happy with whatever happens next.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve stopped calling myself myself Captain America.”

“And if you want to throw on that V-neck suit, you won’t hear any complaints from me.”

“I’m pretty sure it would look better on you.” 

He makes a show of perusing her form, even as she shakes her head and laughs. 

“Maybe pre-kid.” 

It’s something he’s noticed as of late, the way she shies away from compliments on her beauty. There’s no denying her body has changed from before pregnancy, fuller than it had been before. He doesn’t mind. In fact, he’d tried to tell her that he’d been particularly distracted by her breasts that first day back, but she had just rolled her eyes and waved him off. She could be old, wrinkled, and gray, and Steve would still think that she’s the most stunning woman on the planet.    
  
And so Steve decides they’ve done enough unpacking for the evening. Eleanor is asleep in the room they co-opted as a nursery, and the monitor is on. So he pushes himself from the floor, and strides over to pull her into a long, hard kiss. 

“You’re right,” he says when he pulls away, palms questing under her sweater, “I think no clothing would actually be better.”

(Later, Luke Cage will give him a gentle ribbing of, “While I’m glad you’re celebrating your return with your lovely lady, not everyone wants to hear it.”

Full house, indeed.

  
  
  


.

  
  


He spends an embarrassing amount of time sketching Eleanor. The curve of her nose, the flex of her small fingers, and the short wisps of fine hair. Steve freehands a drawing of Sharon holding her to her shoulder, and Sharon cries when he presents it to her. 

“I had forgotten how good you were at this,” she tells him as her fingers trace the lines of pencil. 

He wants to tell her of all the things he wishes he could draw from memory. Sharon’s pregnant belly in profile. Eleanor swaddled on the day she was born. The look on her face the first day she brought their daughter home from the hospital. But he doesn’t, if only because it would make them both sad.

Instead, he wraps an arm around her waist and kisses the crown of her haid. “It’s easy to be good when you have perfect subjects.”

  
  


.

Steve learns of the many benefits to having so many people in one place. He gets plenty of sparring partners. He likes to think it makes them better and stronger. Also, he selfishly admires the free babysitters. 

They go on a pseudo-double date with Bucky and Natasha. Albeit, it takes the form of the four of them going underground to snuff out an AIM cell and ends with them eating burgers on a roof, but it’s nice. 

“You and Natasha are something,” Steve chides as the ladies go off together to analyze the information they uncovered. Bucky blushes for a moment, but he rights himself and smiles. “I mean that in a good way, by the way.”

“I wouldn’t have made it through this year without her.” Steve can hear the adoration in his voice, and feels a surge of happiness for his friend. This is, in many ways, what they wanted for life after the war. Love. Friends. Family. “But, I have to say, I’m glad you’re back.”

Steve watches Sharon readjust her ponytail as she talks with Natasha. “You have no idea how grateful I am for you two being there for her.”

Bucky just shakes his head. 

“I like to think we were all there for each other.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


If Steve thought he hated paparazzi before, his disdain for them grows exponentially every time someone attempts to snap a picture of his family. Previously, Sharon had managed to stay under the radar in regards to Eleanor. Her identity had been relatively low profile to begin with, and there was no proving he was the father of her child. Their relationship had been public, but they hadn’t been a hot item in media circles. But now she’s branded ‘The Woman Who Killed Captain America’ and his own resurrection and recent presidential pardon has turned enough heads that they’ve become the talk of gossip magazines. The baby occasionally strapped in the bulletproof carrier on his chest only adds to the fire.

He breaks at least two cameras, and doesn’t feel bad about it in the slightest. Both he and Sharon had signed up for this life knowing the risks. Eleanor has no choice in the matter. Even though he’s technically no longer Captain America, the world still sees him as such. Guilt churns in his belly when he considers the shadow his daughter will undoubtedly be forced to live under. 

“Maybe we should have stayed in Virginia,” he muses as they picnic in Central Park. He watches, both amused and utterly besotted, as Eleanor tries her hardest to gnaw on her feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a passerby linger while watching them. Steve shifts to block the view of the baby. 

“You don’t mean that, Brooklyn Boy,” she teases. She reaches out to run her hand through his hair. He’s also pretty sure she gives a middle finger to the person watching them. It only makes him love her more. “Besides, I think they would have found us, regardless. Someone would still be talking.” 

Her expression shadows, and his heart clenches. He can deal with the talking heads on television questioning the morality of America’s Favorite Son having a child out of wedlock. It’s annoying, but not the worst thing they’ve said about him. But now the ladies on the talk shows have begun to question why he’s staying with the woman who tried to kill him, and  _ “isn’t that sending a bad message to people in abusive situations. If Captain America stays, why shouldn’t they?” _ He has half a mind to go on air and give them a piece of his mind, to explain in detail the difference between mind control and abuse, but his friends talk him down. The only reason he hasn’t done anything is because Sharon had explicitly asked him not to, and he’s not about to disobey her wishes. 

“I love you both,” he says softly. He leans over to kiss her softly. Sharon tastes like the mint from her tea. “I want to protect you in every way I’m able. Even if it means getting away from everyone.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure your old shield couldn’t protect us from this.” 

“I could throw it at them.” 

“It’s growing more tempting by the day”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Susan Richards continues to remain a trusted friend and confidante to Sharon. Their friendship is somewhat surprising, but Steve doesn’t mind it. He’s always admired Susan. In many ways, she reminds him of his mother — kind and outstandingly strong. 

They end up at the Baxter Building every now and then. Franklin and the small cabal of children in the Richards’ guardianship pepper him with questions, and Steve does his best to answer. Ben Grimm teases him about when he plans on returning to poker nights, as he misses kicking Steve’s sorry behind. They commiserate with Reed and Susan over the paparazzi and their lack of boundaries. 

“I cut off the oxygen of one particularly obnoxious reporter when he got too close to Val once,” Susan comments, to which Sharon raises a glass. 

One evening he leaves the ladies behind with Eleanore, and follows Reed to his lab. Steve crosses his arms when they’re inside and he’s sure no one has followed them.

“So?”

“So what?” For as smart as Reed Richards is, he’s remarkably good at playing ignorant.

“My daughter. The serum. How it’s affected her,” Steve explains. Reed looks as if he’s about to argue, but Steve raises his hand. “I know you well enough to know that you took her blood at some point while she was here.”

Reed’s expression tells Steve that his intuition had been right. Of course the man who would help clone Thor would study his daughter’s blood. Rages simmers in his blood, but it’s overpowered by both his curiosity and fear.

“I only did it for research purposes, and so that Sharon could be prepared if she asked. Erskine’s serum—“

“Reed.”

He stretches to type away at his computer, and Steve watches as what appears to be strands of DNA appear on the screen. 

“She’s not a mutant. There’s no indication that an X gene will be activated. Not like Franklin and Valeria.” His tone is clinical, but his voice softens at the mention of his children.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ there.”

“There are indicators that suggest she’s not...well, for lack of a better term  _ normal _ , either. Your blood has elements of whatever Erskine used in that serum to his. So does she, in smaller amounts.”

“What does that mean?”

“That she has potential to be similar to you. Not quite. For example, she has a strong immune system. Your— Sharon has indicated in the past that Eleanor hasn’t been sick once.” Reed turns to face him, and Steve suppresses a frown. Did his know that his daughter had never been sick? “ Some would argue that’s because she’s not been placed in daycare, but she has been out in public. She’s been on the subway, to restaurants, the park, all locations that are breeding grounds for germs and viruses that would, at a minimum, lead to a cold. And yet, nothing. It’s honestly fascinating.”

“So you’re saying…” His voice trails off, his throat suddenly tight.  _ She’s definitely not like how I used to be.  _ Sharon had told him that, and Reed is echoing it. She won’t know the pain he felt with his body wracked with sickness. 

“What I’m saying is that I expect her to be like you, only with her abilities slightly diminished. Somewhere between you and perhaps Natasha Romanoff. Time will tell, of course.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


“I am going to  _ murder _ him. I am going to tie him into knots and rip him limb from fucking limb.”

There’s something remarkable about watching Sharon pace the nursery, fire in her eyes and their daughter in her arms, threatening all the ways she plans to make Reed Richards pay for running tests without her consent. Steve has always been drawn to her fierce nature. Motherhood has only intensified that trait. 

But Steve also knows her concern masks something else: fear. He suspects that fear is what kept her from asking about the inheritability of his serum in the first place. Knowing is confirmation, and confirmation can mean a paper trail. A good spy knows to never lead a paper trail. 

“He wiped the data from his files. I saw to that.”

Neither are particularly worried about their enemies using that information against them. Abilities or not, Eleanor already has a target painted on her back. (Still a terrifying prospect, but a different terrifying prospect.) It’s their supposed allies and government Steve fought for and against using that knowledge against her. The shadow of the SHRA looms over them. It’s why their home harbors many of their friends, and why Steve needed a pardon in the first place. 

Sharon kisses their baby’s head. “What are we going to do?”

  
  


.

  
  
  


Before they can formulate a plan, Steve is drawn into battle. Norman Osborn leads HAMMER into an all-out assault on Asgard. Bucky hands Steve back the shield. 

“The world needs you to be Captain America right now.”

He gives Sharon and Eleanor his goodbyes, and Steve is reminded of all the boys who shipped off to war. It’s different, however. This isn’t a train platform, and his lover is also capable in a fight. Less sad about him going, and more jealous at being left behind. 

“I love you,” he says, hoping everything he wants to say bleeds into the words. That he wishes she were with him. That he plans on coming back, and is terrified he might not. That he wants nothing more than for them to be safe and happy, which is why he’s doing this. 

“Kick their ass,” she replies. 

He gives her one more — not last, absolutely not last — kiss, and runs his palm over Eleanor’s head, before he adjusts his mask, and goes off to fight.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


Steve Rogers has always left everything on the battlefield, but he cannot deny there’s something different about walking into the battle as a father. He fights for everyone, but Eleanor is in the back of his mind. 

_ Fight to get back to her. Fight to keep her safe. Fight that she has a future. _

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


They win. HAMMER falls. Steve hands back the shield to Bucky. The President makes him an offer Steve isn’t sure he can refuse.

“He wants me to lead SHIELD,” he tells Sharon that night. 

“You’d be good at it. Better than others.” Sharon says evenly. She has her own opinions and history with SHIELD, but she eventually rejoined. She’d even led it, which is another reason why he values her perspective. “Is this what you want to do?”

“I don’t know.” He both wants and doesn’t want the role. He thinks he can do well. He also has no idea how to fit his family into this plan. “I’d need concessions.”

“Such as?” He can tell Sharon is not just asking because she’s curious, but because it will allow him to work through his plan and feelings. 

“He’s already promised if I signed on, he’d issue an Executive Order advising all of his agencies to stop enforcing the Registration Act, for one. That essentially neuters the law until he can convince Congress to repeal it. He already claims they have the votes,” he tells her. He doesn’t need to explain the significance of that decision to her. He sees her understanding in the way her eyes track to the nursery. The repeal of the SHRA is one step closer to not just protecting their friends and freedom, but also Eleanor. 

“If he already has the votes, he doesn’t need you.”    
  


“I know. But it helps with publicity and gives him cover.”. 

“Just what you love, being trotted out like a dancing monkey,” Sharon sighs, reminding him just what the position will entail. It’s always been his least favorite part of his work. “That will be a part of your role, you know.”

“It was always a part of being Captain America, anyway.”

“You’d still be better at it that part Nick ever was, but he hated knocking heads with legislators. Honestly, I enjoyed it, even though I preferred field work. Osborn isn’t worth mentioning in the same breath.” She pauses, thinking. “Your ranking would be Commander, right? Because I won’t lie, Commander Rogers sounds kind of sexy.”

He appreciates her attempt to lighten the mood. He reaches for her hand and pulls her knuckles up for a kiss. “If I do this, there’s something else I’ll need.”

“And what’s that?”

“You.”

  
  


.

  
  
  


It doesn’t take much convincing to get her to join him. He knows she misses the work. Besides, they both know he’ll feel more comfortable running things with someone he trusts implicitly as his second-in-command. They both worry how this will affect Eleanor. 

“It will be good for her to see me active and doing things. Show her that there’s more to me than just Mom,” Sharon says, though Steve believes that she’s reminding herself more of that. 

They tap into their network of friends for help watching her. One of the X-Men offers to nanny. Sharon puts the young woman through a grueling interview, but she passes and Steve is pleased. He’s thankful they have more of a support network than his mother had when she’d been working and raising him. 

“Are you ready to do this?” Sharon asks him the morning he officially takes over SHIELD. 

He smiles. “With you by my side? Always.”

  
  



End file.
